I was asked about the Barquinha’s astrology. There isn’t any (I was told). Stars are a part of the creation. One can learn anything from anything. Some people can learn things by looking at stars. In the Barquinha they look at God.
For a week I was preparing with prayers, candles, intensions… Daime work at the Barquinha of Dona Gabriel each day… Came the 27th, a Saturday before the Semana Santa and the entity Don Rafael was going to operate me. Finally I am going to heal the pain in my back which does not leave me alone ever since I had hernia of a disk two and a half years ago. It is normal that such treatments are done over 3 ceremonies (three 27th) but I had only one (two to come).
I did not know I was supposed to bring something to lie on, and sitting was never as difficult as it was that night.
I did not know what to expect… we were seven or eight people in a dark room, drinking daime and waiting. Are the mediums going to come in? Would They heal me?? Would Antonio (Toni), the medium with which Don Rafael works, come and assist me with Arruda and prayers?
Hour after hour, Glass after glass, we were left alone while there was a ceremony going on in the church. It was my appointment with Don Rafael, no one else. When an entity makes an appointment, he keeps it.
Sao Miguel was clearing the space and Oxalá passed by once in a while. I felt my light body being penetrated, stretched, snapped… like Iansa and Sao Miguel having a dance within me. Flashes of light, colours, patterns… but in fact, during the operation I did not feel much. I saw a saint/nun dressed in light purple healing the young man who sat opposite to me. After many hours, towards the end, I have seen a bent old man sitting beside me, and I assumed it was Don Rafael. A Preto Velho? (No, he is not Only, but perhaps he is As well).
Back at a friend´s house, after the treatment, I have touched the bed… my body was a baby’s body, one again. Nothing I could not do with my body. Not a thing I did not want to do. An amazing joy of existence filled me, the felicity of having senses. Diving deep into each tiny sensation; one finger touching another, feet crawling against ears, back moving against floor. Feeling each and every cell from within. Feeling each and every cell from without. Deep Vipassana. Deep gratitude for every pulse of the skin.
Deep sensing turns into seep sensation turns into sensuality. Baby is reaching puberty. Amazed by the perfection of my own body. Being allowed to touch and love and adore my own perfection without the disturbances that stopped me from doing so at the time.
Don Rafael gifted me with the teaching of self love, and the totality of self acceptance. Don Rafael gifted me with the memory of being newborn, and the choice to be in whichever physical memory I want to, the choice to let go of the armours, the protections I built during all stages of life when my vulnerability was met with roughness. Don Rafael showed me the choice of letting go and choosing to feel, The joy of feeling, The courage to be divine, The courage to hurt.
I felt without a safety net, without a bodyguard… but was I really? I had Sao Miguel with me. Somehow his presence mixed with the feeling of Greg and a great opening, sensuality and joy.
I couldn’t sleep, kept moving. The joy of moving- each movement is a blissful dance, a wholeness (yoga). Breathing, stretching, exercises became bliss once a gain.
I had received a Yoga/ Dance /Meditation routine.
I met Don Rafael.
He was there that night- A teacher, a Friend, a lover, the guardian of the great mystery.
I have a choice now, to remember.
(For Greg who asked and I never answered)