Last weekend I had the honour of drinking Ayahuasca in a group work.
I have been recovering from viral meningitis but my return to a feeling of life-force and health had been slow and impeded by winter and food poisoning. So basically, very run down. The weekend was very much involved in deep somatic cleansing.
After I drank the first glass of some highly concentrated Ayahuasca (banisteriopsis caapi and psychotria viridis) I sat in silent meditation, with no effects until about 40 minutes in.
From a momment of complete sobriety, the next momment I was bowled over by the blazing symbol of the Cross and the descent of the Christ archetype, the presence of a loving brother, whose emination proceeded to instantaniously burn away with great power the obscurations around my heart chakra. From one minute being totally closed, I was immedately connected with lifeforce and love to my immediate family, and silently wept for the love I have for them, and lamented for the blockages and confusions that exist between us. I felt deep love for my younger brother and he appeared before me in the nature of his soul or essense – not his earthly self. And he was a prince, a beautiful shining man who sent blessings and support for me in my work, and assured me that I could always call upon him.
My mind kicked in strong at this point and I ‘descended’ a few levels into the chthonic astral, the blazing, refractive hall of mirrors with amazing plantlike octopoid entities seemingly wanting some attention. The feeling was extremely psychedelic and hyperdimensional. I grounded in my solar plexus and persisted with my concentration. I went through some issues about self-responsibility. Early in the session a man had brought a sacred dagger, and I had mixed feelings about such a weapon being in the medicine space, due to my own paranoia of whether I could trust myself. The symbol of the sword was one ancient quintessence of masculinity and responsibilty. The voice came ‘put the penis down and take up the sword of your father’.
The transformation was an interuption of the ouroboric, self-referential, introverted and entropic feedback loops which kept my mind ‘playing with itself’ in a way analagous to physical masturbation. I had several embodied and mental representations of this closed-system loop. The sword blazed before me in the astral and it was a different kind of sword than I recieved from a cosmic bodhitsatva several years ago. This sword was a shard of energy hewn by God for those that put themselves to the work of the Acknowledgement, it is the sword of self-responsibility but it is also a symbol of rejecting the path of harbouring and entertaining twisted ways… it is a means of breaking bondage to Sheol and standing firm with cetain kind of entities. It is a different movement than incorperation or acceptance, it is less receptive – it is more individuated and affirming of a higher truth in the presence of jarring and disturbing forces.
When I took the sword I was presented with the Maelstrom, which is like a door opening to a howling realm of all kinds of shells, creation very far from the irradience of the source, and seeking to move further from the source in their own egoic agendas. I saw the pathways in which I have been hijacked throughout life, I felt deeply into early psychedelic experiences where I had ‘unconsciously’ moved into these places, and where I had used magic to align myself with those forces because of passing glamor, intellectual pride, and quasi-pleasure. I saw the fate of those that take arrogant and twisted paths, holding something back from the Great Spirit in the mistaken belief they can aquire something and hold onto it for themselves.
I saw the movement of partiality and lack of openness shading into a gradual and pernicious diminuition of character and of light. Pay Attention ! This life is a journey from Dark to Light, through the moral and spiritual conundrums we live within. I understood the nature of Sheol and how deep I have been, up to my neck, and what work it takes to repair oneself.
At this point of extrication I came face to face with evil. I wanted to run away, to move my body, to escape, but since the confrontation was spiritual, there was nowhere to run. I remembered the sword, and the truth of the heart, and sat, and stared back, praying for mercy and grace and light and strength. I prayed to these entities of the realm of shells, to “Soften and Know Yourself”. I never believe it is too late.
I came to one of the dominions of ‘lost angels’ – Los Angeles… my spirit particulated into several eminations and I descended into crack houses, to abide with the poor spirits there, in their sorrow and disorientation. I gave my love within this hell, and gave thanks to the vine that lets me do this work.
As my thoughts turned to the vine I went into the foundry of evolution, the Pangaean couldron of the deepest primordial rainforest, where lizards evolved over aeons into birds, where simians played in the tree canopies. The richness, baroque, elemental purity and creativity enlivened me, and there I saw the vine, sinewy and silent, snaking around the trees in the ancient gardens. Its meditative presence was profound, and I understood something of why it is called the Maestra or Madre of the Garden.
I was taken by two resplendent angels into the spiritual matrix of the earth’s creation and the sacred geometry of bio-spiritual evolution in a series of unfathomable visions. I felt deeply the influence of the sun and the irradient clear purity informing and designing the very structures of life with an encoded divine plan. I saw humanity as a crystalis, a method for generating Angels in the unfathomable clear light. I saw the work of purification as the burning of the crystalis around the divine manifestation – the fruit of what we may be, represented by the angel wings – the wings that let us soar in the astral.
I felt that the Acknowledgement, as I call it, which I suppose you could call the Galactic Alignment with the milky way, or the Day of Judgement, or the Singularity, is very near and all our dates are a mere approximation. We live within short days of mercy where we have the oportunity to align, to soften ourselves, to do as much psychocognitive archeology as we can, so when this Acknowledgement comes, when this vibration as deep as the cosmos comes, and the world of illusion passes away, that we are upheld by the love we have all shared, recieved, channelled, that our hearts have been decent and we have been in this world for more than ourselves, and we have ‘put ourselves on the cross’ – burnt karma, done that hard work, because it is the right thing to do.
In this place the continuum of ancestral and spiritual life was a continual reality of revelation. This revelation was a perfect dialogue between the ancestral/underworld/historical and the light/present/celestial realms, I was mediator seeking to bring together the opposites into restored unity by intent and prayer.
I felt no longer that God has left its creation. Instead, all manifest life was the face of God, the surface emination, looking outward toward itself. I felt the interaction between the group as a jewelled web, reflecting love energy in innumerable forms and flavours. The universe is something that surfaces as the infinite spirit flows, and its magic is the magic of God, the Lila. I felt the divine light as dripping crystal fire from every centre, radiating through a divine spectrum of archetype, angel, solar and planetary formations.
The whole-being felt the transience of the biological, and felt that the sole purpose for my present manifestation was to burn karma, to burn the sins of the fathers, to forgive, move on, and refresh the planetary so the energy was clear enough that a more perfect image of the celestial could arise in space-time. In the face of the mystery of death and the infinities of time and space I consecrated and sanctified the work and entrusted my heart to the highest Light.
I felt blessed by innumerable teachings pouring into heart. Incredible human wisdoms about life and the relation of the transpersonal to the personal. I felt strongly the benefits of this light and energy as it radiated and refreshed inner stagnation with its celestial, solar flare vibration.
Ultimately, I found unity in the solar, light continuum dancing and scintilating through All. I cease to exist, ‘I’ am not in creation. The diamond earth shines in the inherent purity of its diamond life. Sensitive to every occurence, heart still beating, yet the mind has ceased to be an entity. It is simply the world and the world is it.
I know that in time even the most lost atoms of mind will discover in the innermost centre of its constituent nature the indivisible light, that oneness, which shares in the indestructible purity of the Whole. To bring love and unity to all facets, to open relatedness between the shadow and the light, the dichotomies, so they are seen in unison as complimentary and sacred first principles of God emination.
Santifying and consecrating the heart to God, always placing ones being and faith in the highest Light.
“We are bacteria”
We are here.
“We are doomed”
Here We Are, NOW.
What next ?
And the garden of Eden which is just manifesting as we love one another.
I saw the creation of a New Earth, and incarnated in that garden. The colours were electric. It was multidimensional, coming through senses and channels I do not possess in my earthly state. The elements were running free, everyone was alit with eyes, eyes, eyes of wonder at the vividness of this freshly hewn world, fresh from the foundry of creation, with snow on the mountains, and fresh water in the fountains, and that we all find ourselves there, in a world that reverberates with Love and Peace.